Van, Dante is trying to help you.

Think of your profile as a tool for the benefit of other players; it allows them to fudge a bit when it comes to retconning the addition of a new character. I personally don't expect you to have read all the current threads and know everything about our characters. Our character sheets are one way you can get to know who the other players in this story are without slogging through pages and pages of RPing. As such, if you find yourself in a position where Alexi should probably know a bit about Anmar, for example, you can skip on over to her character description and familiarize yourself.

But the bottom line is really that Dante is bringing up several good points that would help in Alexi’s profile. It’s better to get it polished and have those details out of the way now than to have your character’s approval possibly yanked later.

I gave all the bio info. You guys are being nitpicky. I've done a ton of rps before, my most standards my bio is perfect. A bio is a template, the character is suppose to be flushed out in the rp, I'm giving your everything right now.

Calm down. I to am a writer (Well attempted. Still only 16), and yes while it's nice being able to expose stuff you can still that while giving more information. Kia's profile is very detailed, yet I know I can still expand on her, and bring up specific parts of her past that aren't mentioned as all I've done is a basic overview.

In a story you are writing yourself no-one else needs to know about your character till you tell them, as you plan all the events, and let that define a personality. In an RP it's more important for others to know such things, even if it's just to help them plan things. It also helps set characters apart.

Yes in some place a profile even shorter than this is acceptable, however here it's not and you have to respect that. With so many characters, we need to know each in detail, and you also need to accept the wishes of mods. I myself don't like personality sections, as like you said, I like it to come out in the rp and I often also deviate, but here they had a peronality slot, so I filled out the personality slot.

In the end we are just trying to help, and make the rp enjoyable for everyone.

And I am an English teacher, if we are comparing rights to express opinions on writing. Creating an in depth character with well thought out significant details is vital to good writing, just as it is for good role playing.

I'm not saying your bio wouldn't be accepted at other sites; I'm saying that I wouldn't play at sites where this bio is considered perfect. Character details aside, your usage of the English language has thus far been poor at best. Whether you are capable of better has yet to be discussed, let alone proven. Not to say that everyone in this RP is perfect, but I do like to think we all put effort into it. If you do the same, you will gain many points in my book.

As for having given us ALL your info, I sincerely hope you're being facetious. You gave us SOME biographical details, but not enough of the significant details that tell us about your character. For an excellent example of a short but well considered bio, check out AnonCollie's new character. For a longer excellent example, check out Tyrsidon's bio. They take different approaches to character creation, but both give us enough valuable details to tell us that they know their own characters.

Exposing background details as you go is all well and good, but only if the character history already exists somewhere. With Alexi, I am not convinced it does. Your avoidance of my questions doesn't help.

QFT:


This is my last request: please re-read my original response to your character thread and give some thought to ALL the questions presented. Edit your character to reflect your thoughts and responses, and then we can have another chat.

@AkA: singers use stage names, this is the case

@education: skipping grades+duel credit courses+scholarship=BA by 19

I wish I could have had duel credit courses. Would have mad school a lot more fun.

most of my senior courses were dual credit (psych, socio, cisco 101)

Not satisfied.

I believe Kayje is making a funny. I, too, would enjoy going to a school where class credit involved dueling

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dual_Credit
^I'm surprised you haven't heard of this most high schools have a program like this set up with a local college

Pretty sure thats not what she meant. She knows what dual credit courses are. -.-;

then whats the problem. my cousins GF, my best friend had 2 years of college done by high school thanks to summer course and dual credit. its possible just a metric ton of work. I demand a better explanation.

Your demand is my command.

Your objective when submitting a character application here is not to create a really cool character. Your objective is to help us write a fun and engaging collective story. It is true that cool stories require cool characters, but this only works when the characters are designed to make the story cool, not to be cool by themselves.

The character you have described so far is very much running his own show. He has an extremely high IQ, he does whatever it takes to win, and despite hating authority and being controlled, he seems to excel in situations that require a high degree of controlled, structured motivation.*

This is not a character that will be fun for the rest of us to write with. Certainly, if this were a TV show about Alexi, you could get a following going (see L from Death Note), but this is a game with no main characters, where we distribute the spotlight as evenly as we can among a whole host of different characters. Projecting yourself into a cooler persona in cool and dangerous situations definitely has its place, but here, you have to leave room for everyone to do the same thing.

As it stands, your application paints a picture of a super-genius punk god. And that, while fun for you to play, will not be fun for the rest of us. If you look at Dante's comments, she is giving you the benefit of the doubt and trying to assume that Alexi isn't actually a super-genius punk god, he just looks like it because we don't have enough details yet. Therefore, the quickest way to get approved is not to try to explain that Alexi is actually as super-genius-punk-god-tastic as he appears, but rather to show how he will fit into this collaborative story that we are all telling together.


* When fibio brought up the issue of how a kid who hates authority managed to do so incredibly well in school, you said

But this is not consistent. If this were Alexi's mindset, then he would be doing the bare minimum required to get his diploma as quickly as possible. Instead, he is doing

in order to skip grades while getting college credit and then, after graduating and no longer being required to go to school, going on to get a double major on an accelerated track. Why is he doing this? It can't be "the quicker I get this done the quicker I can move on," because he doesn't move on when he has the chance. The only conceivable explanation is that a degree in Journalism and Mass Communications is somehow requisite for Alexi's "what I want to do"...which is...what? Twin Blade? Something else?

With the details you've given, Alexi appears inconsistent, with details like "graduated high school early and got a double-major BA before 19" thrown in for no other purpose than to make your super-genius punk god more geniusy.

If I might offer some advice. A good RPG character is all about balance. Alexi is not really balanced, he's got a very strong form, good combat skills, is very intelligent, highly educated, good looking and has several history points that stretch disbelief (notably the grade skipping). Trying to counteract that you have; a short temper (which doesn't seem to have had any ramifications), a crisis of faith (again, ramifications?) and... well that's about it. The only other thing I could find was the fact his powers are kind of par for the group and even then that's not a drawback.

See, this does not balance, your character has far too many things going for him. His only real adversary is the lab and that can only be defeated once, and most likely only by one character.

Take another character, for example, Damian. Going for him; he's got a easy going personality, integrity, a very strong and versatile power and a fairly easy time of shape-shifting. On the negative, he's had a rough life, struggles to remain human and has no notable exceptional skills. These more or less cancel each other out and we've got a fairly interesting, almost world weary, character who works very well in the setting.

Now blowing my own trumpet for a moment, take Will. Will has a lot of the same advantages, he's smart, educated, and very convinced with his own superiority. Summed with his ability to manipulate people and a power that can be devastating under the right circumstances Will could easily be unbalanced, but he's also an arrogant, self-centered arsehole with no combat skills and one of the weakest forms in the game. He more or less works with this skill set, powerful (less than he thinks), but without the allies the rest of the cast benefit from.

You need to do one of two things to bring Alexi into balance. Either strip out some of the advantages (say, fighter or highly intelligent) or add some major disadvantages (could he be petrified of cats? Or maybe consider the inoculated to be abominations). This are just ideas, but I'm fairly sure just arguing with the mods is not going to get you anywhere.

@dante: HE'S ME MIXED WITH MY FRIENDS. My senior year was padded with dual credit courses. I deny authory respect on the ground they hold a certain position. I sing. I don't play fair, if someone told me it was a fair fight I'd grab a rock. I was eligible for early graduation my senior year and I'm a great planner. I work hard so I can get shit done with and not have to deal with it.

I'd like to start this off by saying that I speak for absolutely no one but myself with this post.

Van, if I were still running this RP you would have burned your last chance with this character. You say you disrespect authority because they merely hold a position, or whatever bull shit reasoning you have. Well sometimes you have to learn that it doesn't matter what you think of the authorities, they still have power over you. In this case, they have the power to deny you access to this Role Play. Several people have made many very, very patient attempts at helping you develop this character in a reasonable fashion, and you shove them to the side time and time again, or make small, inconsequential changes that ignore the spirit of what people are telling you, while (sometimes) complying with the word.

This character is flawed, read the last two relevant posts in this thread to see what I mean. They are smart people who obviously have experience with RPs.

Aside from your ability (or lack thereof) to create a genuine, acceptable character, I seriously doubt your ability to type a post of sufficient literary quality for an RP. Your posts throughout this forum have been riddled with spelling, grammar, usage, and punctuation errors. This sort of thing is understandable in a chat setting, but in an endeavor such as an RP a higher standard is expected, a standard which I am not convinced you can uphold.

My apologies if this post offended anyone, but sometimes the shit needs to come out, regardless of if it hits the fan.

I've been carefully watching and listening so far, and I think it's time for me to interject.

I don't pretend to know everything behind this. I don't pretend to know what's going on in your mind as you write, Van, or if you're just not explaining yourself well... but I do know that I joined an RP board last year, made a complete ass of myself every time I tried to explain my called-out slip-ups while I was there, and got myself not only booted from it as a result, but utterly hated by everyone else there, all within two months of joining.

I'm no fool; after it was all said and done, I took the time to think about why everything went to hell, and I learned from it. And now I'm looking at this; your words and phrasing, and everyone else's reactions, and I'm seeing that same chain of events all over again. So I'm telling you, as a man who has been down this road before... if it is just that we're misinterpreting your explanations, then I suggest you use fewer aggressive words, and less ambiguous phrasing, and remember that no matter how good an idea seems when you're angry, it never is.

I can only hope you learn that sooner than I did.

fuck it...I tryed to make a character based off what i know, not good eniough for you.
LAST WORDS:
1: you can disobey authority figures and succeed in school, look at me, top 1/3ed of my class and on my way to getting a journalism degree
2: @dante: for being a teacher you seem to know nothing about the minds of your students
3: the way i had him fighting was the SMART way, smart read kill them fast with useing the least ammournt of energy see this page pic

Why do you keep ignoring other people in favor of directing comments at Dante?

Dante is not CyMoahk, Dusk, Kayje, Trailsend, fibio, Lithas, wolf_skinchanger, me, or anyone else who may have had issues with your character and not posted. She isn’t the bad guy. She was one of the few people who was willing to actually take the time to try and help you. She deserves more from you than scorn. She isn’t your teacher; she owes you nothing, and still put in the effort to help you create a character for the board. I am sincerely sorry that it was effort wasted on her part.

As for making a character based on what you know… that’s all fine and good, I’m willing to bet that most of us have done that. But you still never really addressed the issues other people have brought up. That is what’s not good enough.

not really caring anymore, their is a reason I keep most of the history out of my characters, it jsut give you more shit to pick at, LESS IS MORE+SHOW DON'T TELL=MY WAY